- I am a single mom and my daughter does not want to go to college. Should I let her live at home or make her get her own apartment. If she does live at home should I make her pay rent?
Amy - Port Washington, WI
- It’s always hard when the picture you had in your head turns out to be different than the one you envisioned. You didn’t mention if your daughter was planning to work or if maybe she had plans to travel or some other thing. Here are my thoughts. It’s a natural instinct to want to take care of our kids. You’ve been doing it since the day they were born so to say “Hit the road!” would be completely unnatural. That doesn’t mean that if you think it’s time for her to get an apartment and learn to be independent you shouldn’t take that route. If that is your thought then you might try helping her create a budget and take her out to look at apartments so that she can be successful in her new independence. It may be the start of her new future or one year of it might be just the thing that makes her want to head off to college. If you would like to let her live at home and charge her rent then that’s fine too. Just sit down with her and again work out a reasonable plan so that everyone knows the expectation. You might also want to go over some of the ground rules for living in the house as an adult. Who will do the laundry, dishes, shopping? What time is too late to come home? Is it okay to have visitors overnight? Also, if you feel you want to give her the time and space in your home to mature for another year or however long without paying rent or changing any of your rules then that should be your purgative. Not all kids mature at the same age and one thing is for sure. There is not one right way of doing things. You know what is best for your family and should never feel judged for that.
Kathleen Davis - Author - YOU NEVER TOLD ME THAT!