- Our son will be leaving for college in California in August. He is a smart kid but he doesn’t speak up when he needs help or is upset. We are so proud of his accomplishments but we live in Georgia and are really worried about being so far away from him without the ability to step in if he needs us. Do you have any suggestions?

Kitty - Atlanta, GA


-  First BRAVO! The fact that you have raised a son that feels confident enough to go to school across the country speaks volumes. That he doesn’t always ask for help quickly can be both good and bad. On one hand, it says that he tries to solve problems on his own, which is admirable and will serve him well. On the other hand, as adults we know that even the smartest among us need help from time to time and knowing when to ask is a good thing to learn. A common theme in my book is that it’s important to spell things out for our kids. In this case I would spell out the idea that you’re there if he wants to run something by you or frankly to pick up the pieces if anything goes wrong. You might say to him "If you are feeling overwhelmed at school about your workload or if you’re sick and not sure if you should go to the doctor you can always give me a quick call.” Once you troubleshoot a few times he will be ready to take it from there. Best of luck to your son this fall!    

 Kathleen Davis - Author YOU NEVER TOLD ME THAT!